I started actively dating online a bit more than a year ago. It was not my first time trying this form of getting to know men. Here are some myths I’d like to debunk. I started actively dating online a bit more than a year ago. It was not my first time trying this form of getting to know men. Here are some myths I’d like to debunk.
I first tried online dating in my early twenties and I met my first husband on a dating site. We were together for four years (two years of dating and two years of marriage). He was the typical example of the main character in the nightmarish stories about people totally changing shortly after getting married. We got divorced.
I met my second husband – the father of my daughter – through work, so it was the traditional way of meeting a future partner. We have been married for 8 years and we’re getting divorced due to infidelity (it was him, not me).
I started dating online a bit more than a year ago when he moved out and my mother wasn’t keen on the idea. And here comes…
Myth 1 – Online dating isn’t safe
It isn’t safe because you don’t really who the other person is, there are a lot of liars on the online dating scene, etc. Well, I think, you can never be sure of who you meet, not even in real life. Only time can tell. I don’t think there are more liars or criminals on a dating site than in a bar or club. Or am I too naive?
Myth 2 – Online daters are liars
I have always been honest on my profiles. I always upload photos that are not older than a few weeks or two months. Luckily, only two men I met online were not honest about their appearance. I heard tons of stories about lying women, though. Male friends have told me that women have a tendency to lie about their looks, especially their weight.
How can you be sure you’re not wasting your time? I like to videochat or date with the person I’m interested in as soon as possible. Even a videochat can tell you a lot about the other person’s looks. I’m not the type who likes to chat for weeks before meeting in real life. If I’m really interested in the man, I like to meet him in person in a week or two. There is no point in lying about your looks as it will turn out anyway the first time you meet.
Myth 3 – Online daters only want one night stands
Well, let’s be honest. Everybody wants to have sex. It’s an essential part of a romantic relationship. The question is if this is the only thing the other person wants. In my experience, more people want to be loosely involved in a relationship and are looking for friends with benefits relationships or one night stands and the number of people who actually want to put the effort into building a strong and lasting relationship is definitely lower. I wouldn’t say that every online dater wants only a night stand, though and not all of them have commitment issues. I started online dating because I’m not that outgoing type and being a single mom, online dating is what I had time for. Other people are just too shy to go to a club or pub and try to meet a future partner.
Myth 4 – Online dating requires too much work
It doesn’t require more work than going to clubs, trying to get to know people there. You are more effective in swiping left or right after checking profiles and spending your, say, weekends going out. Not to mention, I find it more cost-effective, as well. You check people’s profiles in the comfort of your home, there is no transportation cost and you don’t spend your money on drinks.
Myth 5 – Online relationships don’t last long
I don’t think the place of the meeting matters. If you scroll back to the part where I mentioned my first husband, we were together for four years. It was quite a lasting relationship by modern standards. I’ve been married for 8 years, it went on for 6 and the last 2 years have been a period of struggling. We have been separated for a year and we met at work. So does it matter where we met? Not really.
Myth 6 – Online dating ruins traditional dating
Why? You meet on a dating site, then you go on a traditional kind of date (dinner, coffee, etc.), right?
Myth 7 – Online daters are desperate
I’ve been dating online because – as I mentioned – this is what I have time for and I’m not an outgoing type anyway. I’m far from being desperate and it is true for most of the men I have met so far. Most people on dating sites aren’t desperate, it’s just that they like online dating or this is what fits into their schedule or personality.
What do you think about the myths mentioned in this post? Have you tried online dating? What are your experiences?